i don't care, if you're still there

And this is what I know-

that I know nothing at all.
And so when the sun
makes my curtains glow,
and the shine won't let me sleep,
i'll be wrapped in nothing,
and everything.
The place of not knowing.
And so I'll sleep and I'll dream and I'll think
of you. Unsure exactly where you are
and knowing exactly where my heart has yet to take me.

yeehaw im back...

barfing musca domestica

first rats, then come the flies.
i now have a fly problem in my apartment. im sitting here and can see at least 40 flies in my apartment. and these flies aren't just normal flies. these flies are fucking HUGE. and slow. and dying all around me. my apartment is like a fly graveyard at this point, and for the past week, i've literally been swatting flies out of the air with my hands. I open the refrigerator and 3 of them fly in, landing on top of my now tainted frittata.
i remember when i was a little girl, someone told me that everytime a fly lands on something, it throws up and then eats its barf and some of whatever it lands on. now i have no idea if this is actually true, but in my mind, i woke up to my breakfast of eggs and fly barf.
and i have no idea what to do about these flies. do i vaccuum them? if i do vaccuum them, do they die in there? do i smash their fat bodies onto whatever they land on? do i net them and set them free? (fuck that.)
and so, in the spirit of the plague that is happening in my house, for your cringe-worthy pleasure:

(click on the images to make them larger, they are quite impressive up close)

Pepe Silvia

in 25 days, i get to move into the best room of the house. and don't ask me why i didn't take the room 8 months ago, because frankly, i don't know. anyway. doofus #2 is moving out, and i'm snagging the room in the back.
these pictures just made me think of how nice it will be to wake up, grab a cup of coffee, enjoy the beautiful weather out of the balcony, waking up with the city.

genius.

like pulling your pants down with one hand

since my birthday is coming up, i decided that i need to start shaping up and acting like a real a-dult.

i need business cards.
i can still act like a total fool, but with a business card, i immediately seem a little more mature.
i mean, i own (and use!) coasters. i get the newspaper (i don't read it, but my neighbors don't know that). i do crosswords every day for fucks sake! but no one takes me seriously without a goddamn business card.
the other day i was out to dinner with a group of people, all 3-7 years older than myself. i started chatting with another girl who, long story short, had similar interests as me and knew some people i grew up with. i enjoyed our conversation, but when she got up to leave, she handed me "her card." immediately, i shrunk down to my real age. i had nothing to give in return, except to quietly tell her i'd call her soon.
as i write this, i am chatting with a friend on f-book. talking about my birthday and being a year older, his advice to me was this:
"seriously, that is the one thing you do notice as you get older: some people just suck.
like they ascribe to some kind of 'how they are supposed to be' sort of thing"

on that note, i dont think ill be needing any business cards any time soon.

and now, for your viewing pleasure, three completely cliche shots by none other than...

me.

clusterfuck

SHA-BOOM

this is a list of the things i hate

enjoy

the word moist (or "moist towelettes" ugh)
guys that gel their hair
girls that have "going out tops"
people who don't tip well
wrigleyville
ace bandages
audi tt's
waking up and knowing you are late for something
reality television
people who talk in abbreviations
curly hair that looks wet even though it's not
people who touch me at work (see 2-4)
bad commercials
tyra banks
oprah
when doofus #1 asks me questions as soon as i walk in the door
small cups of water
sydney crosby
toenail clippings
ed hardy/affliction/any douche bag clothing (see 2)
hard butter
that fact that crocs aren't socially acceptable
voicemails (unless they are funny, that makes up for the fact that i had to listen to it)
PCs
black comedy (just movies and tv shows)
gary coleman
the notebook
people that are so hipster it hurts
those nylon drawstring backpacks
people who steals
ruby tuesday's
musicals
fat people who need motorized wheelchairs just because they are fat
folding clothes
hot change (like sweaty coins)
tourists when im not one
tangled headphone wires
unibrows
twitter
centipedes
cats
people who own cats (more than 2 is just fucked up)
papers that i feel i need to keep even though i never will need them again
Flint, MI
guys who dip
being told to do something that im currently doing
girls that bring their camera to every bar they go to, take the same pictures and then post them by date on facebook
decorative pillows
living rooms that don't get used
the puff of air they blow into your eyes at the eye doctor
Entourage

im an awful person
you should try it sometime

SHABOOM

Envious

you're welcome mean jeanne the dancing/drinking queen

i know life is unfair, but this is fucking ridiculous

there comes a point in time in life where you either accept whatever you're doing and just exist, or stop talking about what you used to be and do something completely different.


the silence on your part really sucks. just thought you should know.

fib fable forgery fiction fabrication falsity

so, i have to admit something.
i'm a liar. i love to lie, and in doing so it gives me joy.
i lie about what i'm doing, where i'm going, who i'm with, or i lie just so i can stay in bed all day.
it's not that i lie about important things. i just lie about the meaningless bullshit throughout the day, just to give myself a bit of a chuckle.
and i've asked myself why i lie. i lie to people that don't matter, and i lie about things that don't matter. i make slight exaggerations to just about everything.
why?
because i like to pretend that what i do and say actually matters to other people, enough to be called out on my lie. i want to test people, to see if they have truly been paying attention. i lie to hide who i actually am.
and most of all, it's fun.