barfing musca domestica

first rats, then come the flies.
i now have a fly problem in my apartment. im sitting here and can see at least 40 flies in my apartment. and these flies aren't just normal flies. these flies are fucking HUGE. and slow. and dying all around me. my apartment is like a fly graveyard at this point, and for the past week, i've literally been swatting flies out of the air with my hands. I open the refrigerator and 3 of them fly in, landing on top of my now tainted frittata.
i remember when i was a little girl, someone told me that everytime a fly lands on something, it throws up and then eats its barf and some of whatever it lands on. now i have no idea if this is actually true, but in my mind, i woke up to my breakfast of eggs and fly barf.
and i have no idea what to do about these flies. do i vaccuum them? if i do vaccuum them, do they die in there? do i smash their fat bodies onto whatever they land on? do i net them and set them free? (fuck that.)
and so, in the spirit of the plague that is happening in my house, for your cringe-worthy pleasure:

(click on the images to make them larger, they are quite impressive up close)

Pepe Silvia

in 25 days, i get to move into the best room of the house. and don't ask me why i didn't take the room 8 months ago, because frankly, i don't know. anyway. doofus #2 is moving out, and i'm snagging the room in the back.
these pictures just made me think of how nice it will be to wake up, grab a cup of coffee, enjoy the beautiful weather out of the balcony, waking up with the city.

genius.

like pulling your pants down with one hand

since my birthday is coming up, i decided that i need to start shaping up and acting like a real a-dult.

i need business cards.
i can still act like a total fool, but with a business card, i immediately seem a little more mature.
i mean, i own (and use!) coasters. i get the newspaper (i don't read it, but my neighbors don't know that). i do crosswords every day for fucks sake! but no one takes me seriously without a goddamn business card.
the other day i was out to dinner with a group of people, all 3-7 years older than myself. i started chatting with another girl who, long story short, had similar interests as me and knew some people i grew up with. i enjoyed our conversation, but when she got up to leave, she handed me "her card." immediately, i shrunk down to my real age. i had nothing to give in return, except to quietly tell her i'd call her soon.
as i write this, i am chatting with a friend on f-book. talking about my birthday and being a year older, his advice to me was this:
"seriously, that is the one thing you do notice as you get older: some people just suck.
like they ascribe to some kind of 'how they are supposed to be' sort of thing"

on that note, i dont think ill be needing any business cards any time soon.

and now, for your viewing pleasure, three completely cliche shots by none other than...

me.