blowjob









life sucks.

Right Side Down and Upside Left

Most days, I feel like this:


dead






i need more taxidermy in my life.

Home Furnishings


Make yourself useful.

You

There once was a girl, who wanted love so deeply, she ran away from everyone who ever loved her. She came to the big city to find what every girl dreams of, even if she wouldn't admit it to herself. She wanted to be different, and she wanted something exciting. She wanted something difficult.

Yet when she ran, she lost those who had loved her. They fell out of love with her, and only remembered the bad things about her. They slowly transferred their love for her to the people who stuck around, because they stayed and she left. The missing piece that was her closed up, the wound slowly healing. And she became a scar, just a brief, fading reminder. And she became the person she always dreamed she wouldn't be.








Rainbowz

I've been inspired by color lately, and want to share some pictures that are so beautiful with their use of color. Color is inspiring, it evokes emotion, feeling. Color can make or break a design, an outfit, a photograph.







It's amazing how powerful these photographs are, and how each one makes you feel. Enjoy!


Roar

I like lions.











That's it. I am so un-inspired I can't even write a post about a simple topics like my favorite animal. I may come back and write something actually good and interesting, but for now, this is it. Sorry!

Diary Excerpt from India

"We are in India now, Pune to be exact. We arrived at the Mumbai Airport at around 3am, and I am now sitting on the rooftop of our hotel. Arriving at the airport, even at 3 am, we were surrounded by masses of people, waiting. Waiting for what, I don't know. I feel the people here are used to waiting. Waiting for someone, something. We grabbed a cab, to begin our journey to Pune, and stopped in Mulund to visit a friend of Jatin's.
On the 11th floor, entering into her apartment, I notice everything. Her two-year-old daughter's scribbles on the walls, her husbands trousers on a clothes line, strung through the only two rooms of the apartment. An unknown man sleeps face down on a mattress on the floor. It's obvious the amount of pride this friend has for her apartment, and offers me a seat on her bed, filtered water, and an open window overlooking the huge metropolis of Mumbai.
Outside, a large gate protects her sleeping family from unknown people, stray dogs and the piles of garbage heaped just outside the barrier. Her husband and herself work full time, and have spent their meager life savings on this apartment. Her daughter, asleep in their bed, is oblivious to the soft Hindi being spoke around her in the small bedroom.
Once back outside, after offering many thanks for the hospitality, we are once again on the road. Outside the gated apartment, the streets pavement turns to gravel, and back again, without warning. There are no lanes, and the use of rear-view mirrors is obsolete. Honking litters the air, as well as a million different odors and dirt that assault me in the backseat. Mangy dogs lay in the road, barely acknowledging as small cars and huge buses soar around them.
Plots of tents are set up, and smoke rises from a few, signaling an early breakfast. Huge, glossy billboards with beautiful high-rises pictured upon them sit among the shacks and small huts. The obvious division of class is emphasized, driving through the slums of Mumbai, when Jatin mentions a man who recently built a billion dollar home in the city. A man, picking through the trash in heaps on the roadside, is oblivious to the mansion.
Men grip one another atop worn out motorcycles, weaving in and out of fast-paced traffic. They honking their weak horns to avoid being sideswiped by fabric covered trucks with painted tin doors. As we drive away from the city, the smells and sights are much less offensive, but the honking and traffic never ceases.
Mountains ride up around us as we wind up and around bluish-gray hills. Huge tunnels jut between the hills, dividing the traffic as they cut through the rock. The sky, almost an ashy pink by now, settles among the gray and blue mountains peaks.
I try to keep an open mind, as I squat over a stinking "toilet" at a small rest stop. Shops divide and open up to huge stairs, and the toilet is the only one I find among the grooves of porcelain meant for what I had to do. After I wipe my hands on my jeans, I grab a Red Bull, a bottle of water and a bag of regular Lays potato chips, the only American things I could find among the foreign candy and snacks. I secretly pray the top to my Red Bull is clean enough to drink from as I pop the top and take a sip.
As I sit up on the roof now, the sounds of beeps and horns, crows cawing, and some kind of firework (hopefully) echos through the air. I keep wondering why anyone would ever want to live here, and I flash back to Jatin's friend, and the pride in her eyes at the showing of her hard earned apartment. I've been here only five hours, and I think this trip is going to teach me a lot.

I have eight days left."




we will forget this



We will be forgotten
Find out why we're here

Run to run
Smile , Breathe

When nothing is holding you back
Be

This is your forever
It's just shorter than you thought.



And miles to go before I sleep...

If you're a dreamer, come in,
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!

-Shel Silverstein






I want to be a kid again.
I don't want to pay bills, I don't want to go to work.
I don't want responsibilities.

And smile big when I get chocolate milk, and play king of the mountain.
And not worry about money, or bills, or rent.

It's yours


Maybe the point is to feel all we can for as long as it takes. To feel more deeply than you've ever imagined, and then live to tell about it. To hurt so bad your insides boil, to love so deep it makes your head throb. And grieve so hard if makes you feel alive, when someone else is gone. And then wake up one day, and realize you've survived. You made it another day and felt all you could feel, more deeply than you imagined, more deeply all you are physically or mentally capable of in this life.