happy happy joy joy

today, i did a lot of thinking.
i finally realized who i want to surround myself with, and that people (friends, family and even coworkers) are so important in every aspect of your day. i was inspired tonight; people doing what they love, and enjoying each others company. when i stepped away from it all, i heard strangers laughing and talking to each other, soft music playing in the background, and sweet drinks in their hands, it dawned on me: from the moment i woke up this morning, everyone i encountered throughout my day affected me in one way or another in a positive way. from the bitchy bartender i work with, to my asshole boss, to the stupid, drunk idiots who frequent the bar; surprisingly they all made my day better than it started off to be.

as i smoked out on the terrace and the night wound down, i realized how much power i have to make myself happy, and how everyone elses' outlook on their day effects mine.

i'd like to think that maybe i was the one that sent a positive vibe their way, making the day brighter for the both of us.

make someones day today

don't make me

eating light bulbs, crunching thin glass between my teeth
the light going dark as i bite down
false light in the dim dining room
the musty smell of old food, stale cigarettes

i spit blood into the kitchen sink
my nose burns with the taste of metal
a bulb pops and echoes in my throat

the wind throws the gate against its hinges behind the front door

i have seen the truth and it doesn't make sense

bottom of the sky

as im sitting here, again smelling rats/feet (not yet sure)...

my roommate stuttered mid-sentence and proceeded to tell me that our landlord had knocked on our door mid-afternoon, informing him that he had found snakes in the backyard. immediately i picture snakes on a plane kind of shit, my patio covered in scales and slit tongues.
knowing that my roomie has been sitting on the couch pretty much all day long, ingesting an o.d. amount of cough syrup and nyquil, i couldn't have heard correctly. he has been mumbling over in the corner of the living for at least 4 hours, so he isn't a very reliable source.

my roomie was wrong. the landlord said wasps not snakes. just tag that on with the rotting rats. snakes will be next im sure


note: i've been sitting writing this for a little while, about 10 minutes, and just as i was about to publish this, alas! another quote from him to end the night. think on it.
"am i talking slow right now? i feel like i'm talking slow..."

so fresh and so clean clean

as i sit on my couch, i realize how bad my feet smell, that pungent odor that floats up every time i shift hips. i walked all over town today, and my flats are paying for it. but i'm basking in the hints my body is giving me about how hard i've worked the past few days, the dull ache of weary muscles. i need instant gratification, and my tight neck and sore back are exactly that. it's been too long since i've felt this way.


...or that smell may just be the rats that are currently rotting in my apartment walls.
who knows.

when i think about you

i want to touch you

but not you sir!

kitty bar

wild-erness

shut the fuck up

turquoise turds

ease my tears, tease my ears

eating snowflakes with plastic forks

he says he'll be rich someday...

a faintly glimmering radio station
while Frank Sinatra sings Stormy Weather
the flies and spiders get along together
cobwebs fall on an old skipping record

pretty paper bags perfect

ever wonder why there is so much beauty in destruction?

using old foundations as balance beams, arms outstretched
our fingers itch to peel the fading paint from the walls of aging bedrooms
switching on broke ceiling fans, just to watch the blades rock

is that just the feeling that nothing lasts forever?
1, 2. MICK! 4. San Giovanni Suergiu 5. mammoth 3, 6. i09