like pulling your pants down with one hand

since my birthday is coming up, i decided that i need to start shaping up and acting like a real a-dult.

i need business cards.
i can still act like a total fool, but with a business card, i immediately seem a little more mature.
i mean, i own (and use!) coasters. i get the newspaper (i don't read it, but my neighbors don't know that). i do crosswords every day for fucks sake! but no one takes me seriously without a goddamn business card.
the other day i was out to dinner with a group of people, all 3-7 years older than myself. i started chatting with another girl who, long story short, had similar interests as me and knew some people i grew up with. i enjoyed our conversation, but when she got up to leave, she handed me "her card." immediately, i shrunk down to my real age. i had nothing to give in return, except to quietly tell her i'd call her soon.
as i write this, i am chatting with a friend on f-book. talking about my birthday and being a year older, his advice to me was this:
"seriously, that is the one thing you do notice as you get older: some people just suck.
like they ascribe to some kind of 'how they are supposed to be' sort of thing"

on that note, i dont think ill be needing any business cards any time soon.

and now, for your viewing pleasure, three completely cliche shots by none other than...

me.